Madhouse (Untitled) Torn. &^@#.*7655

I asked my male cousin, “How do you mend a broken heart?” Geez! He didn’t seem to be surprised at all. Needless to say, I know the answer, yes. But I am confused.

For two days, I have been trying to compose myself…to clear my mind and to conjure up my thoughts. There were a lot of topics to blog. In fact, I prepared more than 3 outlines and photographs were all ready. Every night, I do check my notifications here on WordPress. Blessed as it is, I am lucky. Thank you for the continuous likes, guys!

But those nights, too, my mind was soaked. Different ideas and doubts were ironically flying through my head. I had a lot to compromise and I was so excited to share happenings in my life, but I couldn’t find the courage to do them, quickly.

This quote I wrote before, “A writer does not write everyday, neither nor he writes every other day; a writer writes on a day beyond his control.” is living my principle. How can I write while my mind has been tied up in knots? Maybe I can, if I try too hard, but eventually, I will be killing myself for that. I need rest, so does sleep. For that, excuse me, Ma’am, for being absent in WordPress class.

“That’s a pretty tough question, cousin. You just have to give yourself a break. I know it’s hard because you lose your attention to what you are doing. And worst, people around you don’t notice it because you are a good clown. Alfred, an experienced lover boy, said it, quickly.

Bingo! He is surely my cousin. “Exactly, cousin. This is hard, though. I can’t focus. Spending my leisure time thinking about it hurts me more.”

As a writer, experience is your friend. Without it, you can’t make your work appealing. Fiction writers, too, got a big house of experience, plus their wide imagination. My point here is, when you write, you write by heart because your mind will follow, accordingly. When you are out of words, do not call Mr. Webster, immediately. Pause. Meditate. Ask for His guidance and the Holy Spirit will usher through your thoughts, like a dawn’s flower blooming in mild dew.

Less often than not, when I get too depressed, I simply write my heart out. This way, I am expressing the feelings I hid a few minutes ago. The other way, I am still attuned to my endless sob while I am writing.

“Distract yourself. Do the things that make you happy,” Alfred suggested in a cool tone.

I remembered what I did the whole day: In the morning, I woke up with the sun smiling at me. The look in my eye is cheerless. “…Lord, thank you for this day. Guide and bless me and my family forever.” After casting a prayer, I didn’t get out my bed, yet. Instead, I think about the whole thing, again and again…

Lunch wasn’t that hard for me. For a few hours, my attempt to go out of the melancholy, succeeded. I hope that lasts until tomorrow…or until more days passed.

Oh, sorry. I have to end the post here…right here. Evening’s fine, though. Goodnight!

Here’s to what my Horoscope said:

“Saturday, May 26, 2012 – Perhaps a practical idea starts as a flash in a dream or even as a persistent daydream. Maybe something catches in the diaphanous web of your imagination, making you feel as if you are recovering a lost treasure from unknown realms. Normally, you are very logical, yet now it’s wise to set aside your need for rationality. Keep open to any messages that come from your subconscious, even if they aren’t understandable right away.” – Twittascope

by: Samantha C. De Guzman


Quote Me

“Minutes long feel like a thousand years. Inches away grasps million miles. This is how I am MISSING YOU.”

– Samantha C. De Guzman


“Minutes long feel like a thousand years. Inches apart grasp a million miles. This is how I am MISSING YOU.”

– Samantha C. De Guzman


Down the CapitolS

May 15, 2012 (Tuesday) was a drizzly day. With my sister, Shiella, and my cousin, Fedilyn, we defined what a rainy day means…

And you might be asking, “Where is the rain?” Find out in the story below!

My sister was so hesitant here as I took the photo but I knew she was paying me something in return. (That’s why you can’t see me in any photo here. I was the one who took them all.)
One of the best things about Pangasinan Provincial Capitol is that their lighters are magnificent!
What do you think?
Streets of the Capitol compound are oh, so awesome, too!
“In Capitol, streets will make you feel brand new, the lights will inspire you…” He-he-he!
A peak of the Capitol Building.
My cousin, Fedilyn on the left side and my sister, Shiella, on the right. Ha-Ha! They didn’t even know I stole this shot.
Oh, wait! Don’t leave me, yet, you two! Let me take a shot of this concrete building.
Here’s a view of the captivating Capitol building!
Wonderful, isn’t it?

The day had been listless to me and I didn’t have plans going out with this kind of weather keeping me sluggish. At 2 p.m., I called Fedilyn to pick me up so we could check each other’s afresh news.

I hit the play button on Youtube: “BRUNO MARS FUNNY MOMENTS PART 1”

“Couz, what about Bruno Mars, again? I swear to you, hindi ko na siya aagawin. Iyong-iyo na siya, eh. Kahit pa naman he’s dang irresistible and so humorous!.”

“Well, just make sure, cousin. But you know, we can always share. Ha-Ha!” The mockery on my face was so distracting that even I, myself, didn’t understand what I was saying. (Bruno is mine forever!)

“No, couz. Okay na ako kahit kay Philip Lawrence ko na lang.” Philip is Bruno’s buddy, who is, also his production team member and band member.

A few hours after our spick-and-span conversation, I felt the sudden urge to sleep. Sleepless nights haunt me, that I couldn’t even think of sleeping the proper way. A small noise would easily yank me out of my bed.

I was thinking of forgetting about sleeping. Gets? Ha-Ha. So I wanted to freshen up…

“I want to go out and unwind. Can you go with me, dear cousin?”

“Anytime, couz! Ikaw pa. Malakas ka sa akin!”

“Okay, come on! Let’s hit the Capitol, then. Ang tagal ko nang hindi nakapunta doon. Let us eat, too!”

Fedilyn flicked, one brow raised. “Yeah, but how about this? I don’t have much cash now.”

“You need enough, not much, cousin. Basta, ako ang bahala sa’yo.” Then, I winked at her.


Twilight was casting its spell and rain was starting to pour. It’s about 6:30 in the evening and I was having second thoughts whether or not we would still continue the not-so-planned-getaway. Mom and dad would be home in a few minutes and I didn’t think they would allow us to go in a dusky and rainy evening.

Fedilyn texted me. “Couz, are we still going out? Get ready.”

I pout in my seat. “I guess so, cousin. I am almost done. Don’t forget to bring umbrellas.”

Knock! Knock!

“Samantha? Please open the door, honey.” Mom called out.

“Yes, Ma. Andiyan na akooooooo…”

Her stuffs were partly wet and I could feel the coldness when I saw her soaked shoes shining, too.

“Ma, lalabas pala kami ni Fedilyn ngayon.”

“Anak, gabi na pero. At umuulan pa. Ipagpabukas niyo na lang ‘yan, anak.”

Oh, no. Not now, Ma. I am all dressed up and ready.

“Please, Ma? I just need to unwind.”

Without much ado, Mom agreed. “Sige, basta mag-iingat kayo. Itext mo lang ako. Your Dad and I will be going to our vigil, too.”

“No problem, Ma! Baka magabihan na, rin, kami.” Obviously, it’s evening, already, wasn’t it?

A minute after, I was combing my hair when I saw my seemingly-morbid sister. She was lying in bed without speaking a single word when I asked her if she wanted to go with us.

“You don’t really want to go with us, do you? Sige na, para hindi masayang ‘yang bihis mo.” She was supposed to be somewhere else, too, but chances didn’t permit her.

After a few tries, she answered with a little spark in her eyes. “Saan ba ang punta niyo, ate?”


Uh-huh. Thank you for eavesdropping to our conversations. The photos were taken at Pangasinan Provincial Capitol grounds. I love photos with a million stories to tell!

P.S. Sorry for the low resolution. I used my phone for taking those. Actually, Shiella and Fedilyn were a bit despised because I am always on the go to take photos. I was like, “Hey, without my enthusiasm, there ain’t photos like these that would make you happy.” LOL

Thanks for dropping by!

by: Samantha C. De Guzman


Behind A Blogger’s Life

To be honest with you, this is the last night of our 2-year contract from our Internet service provider. Obviously, I have to make the most out of this ample connection before tomorrow comes out and knocks me off my feet. I have been blogging for over 2 years, too, since we had an Internet connection when I stepped up into college.

I am a certified Internet geek! Every now and then, I check sites that help me inoculate questions on my mind. I sleep late at night and wake up early to use up the thing that keeps me alive…and that is, the Cyber World.

The thing is, when I say “the thing that keeps me alive…” I mean the one that keeps me connected throughout the world. Social Media upgrades and so my passion for writing (via blogs) fastens up, too!

I have signed up and written to numerous blogs before and in fact, I still have them now. My friends or even a few of my consistent readers, were amused to know them because I got to spend my little spare time to do such. I am a college student, taking up Bachelor of Arts, majoring in Political Science.

In my first year, I am looking for my way to do my write-ups and publish them online. By that time, every week in school consumes most of my time, though. Exams, quizzes, projects, practicums and among others are binding every step I make to my schooldays. But still, I am not having a hard time. I get along to being a college student while I also accomplish to being a teenage techie gal.

The same year, I started making my first blog, ever. It was our group blog, actually, and I was the administrator. The captions, the photos, the articles were all made by me. I tried sharing my blog posts on social networking sites and fortunately, I won two to three readers/viewers. Elsewhere, I had more than 5 blog accounts online. Some are for micro-blogging so I have to stay awake, again, all night, even though my classes are as early as 7AM. I still remember it when I slept past 12AM until 3AM, just surfing the Internet and my eyes were burning already. Headaches come and go.

Second year. This is when I became more active to micro-blogging, leaving past my first blog account. I am steering slowly to open my laptop and publish what is happening. I have to say that this is the busiest and time-consuming school year in my college life (and I know that more is about to come). Let me count weekends. I couldn’t even finish up all of the requirements for only two days, with all that urgent deadlines.

However, it came to a point where I missed sharing my life with others. All my thoughts were coming into view and I did not want to let go of them as time passes by. What I meant was, I wanted memories to last a lifetime! It was only a few months ago that I made this blog account on WordPress and I seemed to be enticed to write, again, like a writer with a new pen. The difference between this blog from my first owned one is that, this is personal. I don’t have to worry posting outnumbered articles or photos of mine, not bothered by group things; I write what I like and I post who I am.

Now, I am an incoming Third Year student, already, and I believe that this is a whole different thing from the past years. Why? Because I ought to contend with my major subjects, for the first time! If last school year was already a catching fire to me, not to mention, those were “only” minor subjects, how much more about these major ones? I am not going to kill myself, eh?

A promise is a promise. A devotion is a devotion. Passion is passion.

Still, despite these circumstances to my busy life, I do blog. And I am going to continue doing it until the world stops from spinning (No, please don’t. Ha-Ha). The key is TIME MANAGEMENT. No matter how busy you may seem, find ways to do ten things at one time, if possible. Practically speaking, do not indulge yourself to do only one thing when you can do two.

In my case, they keep on questioning me how in the world I wrote all of these when I am supposed to pass a research paper. The irony of me, I am even feeling relieved when I finish a long blog, than having been tied up to my already finished paperwork. I spend the whole time sitting and waiting for my thoughts to usher continuously so I can type it, all the while, without minding my quizzes for the following day…the thoughts that would, someday, change the world!

Tomorrow, the inter-connective waves from the worldwide web will be gone in an instant. This is also the reason why I wrote this post. I am not saying that I am going to stop blogging because our Internet connection will be gone. No, that will not stay for too long. We have already called a new Internet service provider and if God permits that the surveyors would approve our location (they need to check whether our house is close to the other subscribers for the cable wire), I will be bounded to write for you, dear readers, again. Cross-fingers for that!

I will not stop from blogging. Blogging makes me whole. This is the truth behind my life, as a blogger. I am a blogger by heart…a certified Internet geek!

It’s almost 12AM. For this, I am happy. Goodnight to me, good day to you!

by: Samantha C. De Guzman