Grieve

“How long am I gonna be stuck here, excuse me?”

Sweet? No, bittersweet. I had never seen this coming. Never.

So this is grief. You can’t, really, tell: all you have are bizarre pictures lurking past you…sometimes back and forth.

They would say, “It’s okay.” But, honestly, it’s not okay. It’s not okay not to be okay.

You were thinking of alternatives. Sadly, you had no Plan B.

Grieve. Just grieve.

💌,

SAM

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Stop to the Shop of Hallows

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“Welcome to the Shop of Hallows, where big dreams were crumpled by steady gazes and clothes were stolen from faraway places. 

Grasses are green, the woods are brown and sands are black as ebony. 

Ants and lethal insects befriend the hosts, eat the lost.

Faces of asylum and blocks of holes you’ve never beaten.

Goodbye to the world, this is prison.”

(Poetry by Yours Truly)

Photos were taken by: Mockingbird Photography 🙂

Jays: Shiella Mae C. De Guzman and Yours Truly

Guest Jay: Fedilyn De Guzman

Hair, Make-Up and Accessories by: Shop of Hallows

by: Samantha C. De Guzman

(NO PLAGIARISM)

The Green Bookworm

Photo by: Ms. Kriselda Sangalang, 2010
Photo by: Ms. Kriselda Sangalang, 2010

I realized how stuck I was on novels when I was still single because I was longing for love that time. And I believe that’s one of the reasons why singles prefer reading romance novels to going out because they’re caught up inside their own globe of love affair. Now that love has found me, I had set them aside – novels are no longer my top priority for leisure. Yet, at this very hour, I find myself chasing for more novels. And I don’t know why I feel like I’m fifteen, sixteen or seventeen, again…that solves the dilemma, if you know what I mean. Am I going back to the old days?

 

by: Samantha C. De Guzman

(NO PLAGIARISM)

Welcome to the Days of Future Past!

Avid readers, I really don’t know how I am going to address you or myself for having been gone like more than five months, I supposed. Or should I ask for pardon to you because it seemed like I lost track of my ego that I forgot to write and update you? If it’s not for Ate Sachi (You will know her in a little while on my next posts, but please leave this space to me, for now.), I wouldn’t even bother to write for fear of expressing claptraps. Anyway, I suddenly remembered that we must write to express, not to inflate someone else’ ego.

On the first two weeks of March 2014, my college days were like autumn leaves that go headlong the summer trail. It’s not because of school stuffs for I really didn’t give much to my academic honors or so. If it’s meant to be, then, be it! It was, however, because of a ceaseless train that never even bothered to leave me…or us. This may sound a repetitive blunts for most girls, but I thought that I was having the worst epoch of our relationship. I kept on saying that “I must blog, I should blog, I need to blog…” to save myself from the instant blackout. Only writing makes me unfold the enormous and apocalyptic feelings in this world. Then, again, even writing hadn’t saved me so I fell apart.

The paranoia inside kept on haunting me until it came to a point that I feared almost everything or even everyone! Anxiety Disorder, is this how they call that? I don’t know or I don’t want to know. Psychology is an interesting field of study, yet, sometimes it builds prejudices…prejudices that would ruin all that you got.

Days and weeks passed, I tried to control myself. My family has always been this loving and supportive to me. Conversations with friends were lessened because of the approaching summer vacation and my college friends were too busy making some arrangements for graduation. While I, I was a bit confused. No, I was deeply confused.

April 2014. GOD did not leave me broken. For almost two months, I got used to going out of our house – be it in our neighborhood with my cousins, to our university, to my sweet escape, etc. I see to it that I was never alone in any place or in any time. At first I thought that just makes my situation worse. But now, I am living with it. This is a lifestyle interchange. Live it or leave it! The same month, we had our graduation. The evident bliss came into the family when I got tons of awards and distinction at my Alma Mater. It’s even more euphoric because I discovered that I became an inspiring icon to some of the students in different departments. I was told that they could even write my biography, for laughing out loud! (Man, they’re cum laude graduates, if I forgot to mention that!) Be that as it may, I continued to fight what’s bugging me inside. Prayer is the most powerful tool!

May 2014. To give you the highlights of this month, more confusions came to me, but blessings and achievements moved nearer. Papa celebrated his birthday on the second day of the month; we feasted for our month of love the day before. on the fourth day, we had our family outing and the remaining days, I surpassed the challenges of life. May 15-18, I had the best days of my life, for being a delegate of the 10th Parliament of Youth Leaders (National Youth Parliament) in MNL. The idea of being a parliamentarian, still, is a mystery to me. We were carefully deliberated over 800 applicants, nationwie, only 200 reigned supreme. My co-parliamentarians? They inspired me to be bolder in words and actions; that is, to be a “real” advocate of the youth. Their IQ level was an amazement to me for they also knew how to fight for what is right or what’s even more right? If only all youths were like them, all impediments will be eradicated. But, of course, nobody is perfect! With that, long live 10th NYP! I hope I can extend my gratitude by endorsing our resolutions to my own municipality with the other youths that I will choose, too! And oh, yes. It is still May today for it marks the 31st and it’s the birthday of my college buddy, Angelica Joy! Tomorrow, also, is a BIG day for me and my love. Ha-Ha. Thanks, WordPress, it came into me.

You know I have been writing for minutes and I haven’t eaten my lunch, yet, but I want to take this time to thank you for your consideration. The next few days, I will be busier and it makes me sad because the summer vacation’s about to end and the pages of this blog are half-full only. For the good sake of sharing, I am glad to say that I will be a college instructor on June and a law student, too, in two different universities! How’s that? Thank You, Good LORD! For the meantime, I am preparing myself for the qualifying exam that I missed last May 17 because of the 10th NYP and I also had to thank the university’s College of Law dean for his utmost consideration. Dr. Carmelo John E. Vidal, also, owe a lot from me! From YMCA regional competition to 10th National Youth Parliament, they supported in any way that they can. Thanks, University of Luzon Center for Integrated Services! Our tarpaulin beside the school facade made me lost my spare umbrella when I was about to go down the bus with my sister, ha! ‘Too excited, wasn’t I?

2:09PM. I am about to conclude this blog post. No promises, yet. I will start with another one after I post this. Please do understand the dry crust of this post. Why? The writer inside-out will come out like a titaniuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum! X-Men: Days of Future Past, you rooooooooooock! Let me take this remaining space to thank my love, for arguing with me whether it’s Maleficient or X-Men, yesterday. The latter won!

(P.S. I am hoping to write a movie review, soon, if the chances or my mood permits me to. Thank you! I’ll see you all in a minute. Mabuhay! 🙂

 

by: Samantha C. De Guzman

(NO PLAGIARISM)

SPARKling Novels 101 (The Guardian): A Book Review

SPARKling Novels 101 (The Guardian)

“And don’t worry. From wherever I am I’ll watch out for you. I’ll be your guardian angel, sweetheart. You can count on me to keep you safe…” 

If you want a novel packed with jump-ride suspense and mystery, intensified with romance and tragedy, The Guardian by Nicholas Sparks is the best one for you!

(I never thought the prologue would match the epilogue. Two guys competed for one sweet lady. Honestly, I was confused at first of who really was the good guy here and who will win Julie’s heart. Richard was scoring 99 in the first few chapters and Mike’s gaining an average of 80. Yet, all along, Richard was an impostor…a murderer! The handsome and charming engineer who had a great talent and love for photography has the darkest side who made escapes from place-to-place to hide and runaway from his criminal records. His real name was Robert Bantam; he’s a real psychopath, who mistakenly exchanged or thought of Julie as his missing wife named Jessica, because they looked almost the same. Well, he always knew from the beginning that Julie and Jessica were two different persons. But because of his extreme depression and loss in his childhood days, his temper and view of life changed. And I never mentioned that this Robert Bantam killed numerous people, including his wife. There had been plenty of attempts to track down all his personal identity and bank accounts or records but this guy was so smart that he considered all the possibilities before he leaped. Just when Officer Jennifer Romanello, a newbie police of Swansboro, North Carolina, discovered the serial numbers from Richard’s expensive cameras to track his real identity. That was why the police, Julie and Mike were terrified when they found out the true color of Richard or Robert, whatsoever, as how his photographs were slowly being developed from colors to pictures.

Jim was Julie’s husband who died because of an illness. From the moment I first opened the book, I cried because of Jim’s letter to Julie when he left Singer for her along with the hopes that Singer, the dog, will guide her and will serve as her only family. In the end, I cried my heart out, again, because Singer was gone. There the letter that Jim wrote for Julie matched. Singer and Jim were her guardians forever! He was too strong to be Julie’s guardian. And a dog has never been this good! What a guardian. Now, I want a Great Dane so badly!)

by: Samantha C. De Guzman

(NO PLAGIARISM)