Avid readers, I really don’t know how I am going to address you or myself for having been gone like more than five months, I supposed. Or should I ask for pardon to you because it seemed like I lost track of my ego that I forgot to write and update you? If it’s not for Ate Sachi (You will know her in a little while on my next posts, but please leave this space to me, for now.), I wouldn’t even bother to write for fear of expressing claptraps. Anyway, I suddenly remembered that we must write to express, not to inflate someone else’ ego.
On the first two weeks of March 2014, my college days were like autumn leaves that go headlong the summer trail. It’s not because of school stuffs for I really didn’t give much to my academic honors or so. If it’s meant to be, then, be it! It was, however, because of a ceaseless train that never even bothered to leave me…or us. This may sound a repetitive blunts for most girls, but I thought that I was having the worst epoch of our relationship. I kept on saying that “I must blog, I should blog, I need to blog…” to save myself from the instant blackout. Only writing makes me unfold the enormous and apocalyptic feelings in this world. Then, again, even writing hadn’t saved me so I fell apart.
The paranoia inside kept on haunting me until it came to a point that I feared almost everything or even everyone! Anxiety Disorder, is this how they call that? I don’t know or I don’t want to know. Psychology is an interesting field of study, yet, sometimes it builds prejudices…prejudices that would ruin all that you got.
Days and weeks passed, I tried to control myself. My family has always been this loving and supportive to me. Conversations with friends were lessened because of the approaching summer vacation and my college friends were too busy making some arrangements for graduation. While I, I was a bit confused. No, I was deeply confused.
April 2014. GOD did not leave me broken. For almost two months, I got used to going out of our house – be it in our neighborhood with my cousins, to our university, to my sweet escape, etc. I see to it that I was never alone in any place or in any time. At first I thought that just makes my situation worse. But now, I am living with it. This is a lifestyle interchange. Live it or leave it! The same month, we had our graduation. The evident bliss came into the family when I got tons of awards and distinction at my Alma Mater. It’s even more euphoric because I discovered that I became an inspiring icon to some of the students in different departments. I was told that they could even write my biography, for laughing out loud! (Man, they’re cum laude graduates, if I forgot to mention that!) Be that as it may, I continued to fight what’s bugging me inside. Prayer is the most powerful tool!
May 2014. To give you the highlights of this month, more confusions came to me, but blessings and achievements moved nearer. Papa celebrated his birthday on the second day of the month; we feasted for our month of love the day before. on the fourth day, we had our family outing and the remaining days, I surpassed the challenges of life. May 15-18, I had the best days of my life, for being a delegate of the 10th Parliament of Youth Leaders (National Youth Parliament) in MNL. The idea of being a parliamentarian, still, is a mystery to me. We were carefully deliberated over 800 applicants, nationwie, only 200 reigned supreme. My co-parliamentarians? They inspired me to be bolder in words and actions; that is, to be a “real” advocate of the youth. Their IQ level was an amazement to me for they also knew how to fight for what is right or what’s even more right? If only all youths were like them, all impediments will be eradicated. But, of course, nobody is perfect! With that, long live 10th NYP! I hope I can extend my gratitude by endorsing our resolutions to my own municipality with the other youths that I will choose, too! And oh, yes. It is still May today for it marks the 31st and it’s the birthday of my college buddy, Angelica Joy! Tomorrow, also, is a BIG day for me and my love. Ha-Ha. Thanks, WordPress, it came into me.
You know I have been writing for minutes and I haven’t eaten my lunch, yet, but I want to take this time to thank you for your consideration. The next few days, I will be busier and it makes me sad because the summer vacation’s about to end and the pages of this blog are half-full only. For the good sake of sharing, I am glad to say that I will be a college instructor on June and a law student, too, in two different universities! How’s that? Thank You, Good LORD! For the meantime, I am preparing myself for the qualifying exam that I missed last May 17 because of the 10th NYP and I also had to thank the university’s College of Law dean for his utmost consideration. Dr. Carmelo John E. Vidal, also, owe a lot from me! From YMCA regional competition to 10th National Youth Parliament, they supported in any way that they can. Thanks, University of Luzon Center for Integrated Services! Our tarpaulin beside the school facade made me lost my spare umbrella when I was about to go down the bus with my sister, ha! ‘Too excited, wasn’t I?
2:09PM. I am about to conclude this blog post. No promises, yet. I will start with another one after I post this. Please do understand the dry crust of this post. Why? The writer inside-out will come out like a titaniuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum! X-Men: Days of Future Past, you rooooooooooock! Let me take this remaining space to thank my love, for arguing with me whether it’s Maleficient or X-Men, yesterday. The latter won!
(P.S. I am hoping to write a movie review, soon, if the chances or my mood permits me to. Thank you! I’ll see you all in a minute. Mabuhay! 🙂
by: Samantha C. De Guzman