Her Knight in Shining Armor

It is excruciating how a single moment is metamorphosed in a blink of an eye. A few hours from now, wonderful thoughts lingered my disturbed mind. If it was to surround myself with eternity, I hurriedly rose up from where I took a morning nap. A norm it would be to have a hunch of goose bumps whenever I leave this sweet place…our home.

Instead of taking the usual routines in the morning, I ate my late breakfast and washed the dishes. Mom was expecting us to re-organize our closet so I did my job for her. Fold the clothes here and there, transfer the blouses to another drawer…separate tees from collared shirts and sort them out according to the number of times we use them. Forever did not take me; with that for after a few minutes, I found myself applying powder on my face. Of course, I already took a not-so-long-morning-bath-just-enough-to-ease-the-summer-heat-on-my-skin and wore the normal clothes I wear.  My olive floral flat shoes were already dry from my hand-wash last Saturday. I slid down my feet unto their smooth soles, then, I am ready to go. I was the last person to leave the house and it never came to me that I, too, was the first person to go back to it today. 

Silent thudding of steps into the warm ground, bulky shoulder bag gliding with the wind, medium-sized hair swaying across the face and a sweet smile from a comely lady assures that today is the day that the Almighty has made. I whispered a short prayer in front of our Sto. Nino before I finally left the house. Riding the tricycle on the way to the bus stop has always been that soothing. Positive thoughts won my mind. A father and a child driving the motor and earning for a living? Wow! I had flashback of our early childhood days. Papa used to be a tricycle driver, too, when we were young. With his permission, me and my sister go with him and be his barkers. At the end of the day, it wouldn’t be complete if we haven’t bought our favorite foods. I could have cried there because of that. And here goes reality, again…we passed on to my Alma Mater, Binmaley Catholic School. Unbelievable as it is, but I couldn’t contain my emotions. (I really am being so emotional for the past few months.) Since we graduated on the four corners of this prestigious school, I started walking through another page of my life.

We reached the bus stop along the town proper. It made me jump a little to proceed there because the barkers already knew my name. There is no day when they didn’t call me ‘Samantha’ and the people had to look my way with a question on their faces. Well, if it’s not for the local beauty pageant I joined when I was sixteen, I wouldn’t be that known about. It’s somewhat complimenting, though, to have them memorized you, instead, even if you’re not the title-holder.

I took the two-person seat and it’s a little too hot up there. It’s 10:16AM on my smartphone’s digital clock so I presumed that I will arrive in Dagupan at 10:36AM because there were no traffics that time, except for what’s causing a road delay because of a road reconstruction. Usually, when I was still a student, I count it a 30-40mins drive from Binmaley to Dagupan. The adrenaline rush oozed my system when we arrived to our university. Eventually, my calculation was almost exact. At 10:38AM, I was walking down the hallways of our university.

The next two hours I spent there talking with our college secretary and a few of my friends. After that, I was alone. Some of my acquaintances caught me daydreaming. I wasn’t ashamed, yet, until a professor passed in front of me for the fourth time. Man, was I much lone? I need to find myself. To kill the boredom, I switched on my pocket router and brought out my smartphone. It’s a good day for a sound-tripping, ain’t it?

That was when a text-message broke everything. My knight in shining armor came rushing towards me. Good, oh, good, how I missed him! The other details, I will not write here. It’s better if you don’t understand, LOL. Seriously, we ate our lunch together and talked about us. The conflicts we have, we tried to solve them little by little. Even if I was moody, recently, we are trying our might to deal with each other because love has already found us so it will also never leave us. Have you had a question to yourself before: Why are we destined by God together? All right. It doesn’t matter if you believe in destiny or not. For me, I believe in God and I strongly uphold that the greatest reason why we’re together now is because of HIM.

My love, if you are reading this now, I want to you to hear this words from me:

CYMERA_20140220_141851

To be honest with you, I did not choose you. God chose you for me. Sorry for the times that I almost gave up. For the times that I failed to understand you or for the times that I intended to, thank you for your patience. My love, thank you for the coke and the fries you bought for us even if that’s the only penny left inside your pocket. For the times that you fearlessly spend the last money left for me, I don’t know how I am going to repay you. Your sacrifices are selfless, my love! And I am so sorry if I ignored you too many times today because I want you to go my own way.

Sorry, my love, if I was silent the whole time. If I tried to go home already because you, too, were silent.

Sorry, my love, if I suddenly released your hands when people made fun of our holding of hands.

Sorry, my love, if I was holding back when we were walking.

Sorry, my love, if I hadn’t noticed your starving.

Sorry, my love, if I ignored you while you were offering the coke and fries you bought for us. For it’s the only penny left inside your pocket, sorry. Sorry, because I was too blind to see your efforts and sacrifices for me. You were dizzy that time after your check-up and vaccine. I was too numb to feel that you, too, were hurt and troubled of your own problems. Sorry, my love, if I am too impatient and irritable towards you. We are both facing personal crisis, I know. And we must help one another, just as how we did it before.

Sorry, if I did go on my own and rode the bus on the way home without looking past behind me to say “Goodbye” and “Thank you. Take care, my love.”

Sorry, if I did not text you when I got home.

My love, above all, sorry, because at this moment I realized, I haven’t asked how you’re feeling after your check-up. I was self-centered that I want to spend the rest of the afternoon with you while you’re almost collapsing due to dizziness and drowsiness. Despite all of these, you are here to keep up with me. I don’t know why and I don’t think I deserve everything from you. Truly, you are the person sent by God to change me. I don’t know of a person who can do all of these, except my family. But there was you. I hope you’re home now, my love. Please have your rest. We might be facing a lot of difficulties, but let us stay strong. I love you do much now and MORE than forever. And when times get tough between us, let us just listen to the song that built us and nurtured the love we started…

“When I look into your eyes, it’s like watching the night sky or a beautiful sunrise. Well, there’s so much they hold. And just like them old stars, I see that you’ve come so far to be right where you are. How old is your soul? Well, I won’t give up on us even if the skies get rough. I’m giving you all my love, I’m still looking up. And when you’re needing your space to do some navigating, I”ll be here patiently waiting to see what you find. ‘Cause even the stars they burn and some even fall to the earth. We’ve got a lot to learn. God knows we’re worth it. No, I won’t give up. I don’t wanna be someone who walks away so easily, I’m here to stay and make the difference that I can make. Our differences, they do a lot to teach us how to use the tools and gifts we got, yeah, we got a lot at stake. And in the end, you’re still my friend at least we did intend for us to work, we didn’t break we didn’t burn. We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in. I had to learn what I’ve got and what I’m not and who I am….” (I Won’t Give Up by Jason Mraz)

 

Ceaseless Romance Happy 19th, my love! Keep holding on, we’re almost there. Pray all the time. I love you.

Now, also in an instant, it’s amazing how God quickly reconciles two persons who misunderstood each other. I received a text-message from him. LORD, please bless our relationship. He’s my greatest treasure. Take care of him. With this, I am concluding my blog. Thanks for spending some time with it!

by: Samantha C. De Guzman

(NO PLAGIARISM)

 

 

Advertisements

Bakas ng Kahapon (Part 1)

Image

(To my readers, you can translate this page, but I am so sorry that all texts can’t go the way I addressed them. I will write for you the next time in English so we all can be happy!)

Matagal ko na ring nais sumulat gamit ang wikang Filipino…matagal-tagal din akong nag-attempt na sumulat na lamang gamit ito upang mas maraming kababayan ko ang makaintindi ng lubusan. Noong nagdaang gabi lamang, tinanong ko ang aking sarili kung bakit nga hindi ko subukan nang maipahayag ko ang aking mga saloobin gamit ang aming sariling wika.

Lubos kong ikinagagalak yaong mga taong marurunong kumanta at nabibigyan ng pagkakataong makapag-record ng kanilang sariling mga kanta, orihinal mang komposisyon o cover lang. Para bang mga kerubim na umaawit sa langit ang kanilang mga tinig at kay sarap pakinggan? Ako, rin. Minsan din akong nangarap na maging isang tanyag na mang-aawit. Madalas akong kumakanta kahit saan o kahit pa man sa isipan ko lamang. May mga pagkakataon din na matagal bago ako dalawin ng antok dahil ba sa dami ng bumabagabag sa isipan ko at umaawit na rin ng kantang napakinggan ko ng sandali lamang. Marahil, LSS ang tawag sa ganoong sitwasyon or Last Song Syndrome. 

Isa akong taong kinalakhan ang musika. Musika ang nagbigay-buhay sa makulay kong buhay. Bata pa lamang ako ay nasa puso ko na talaga ang pagkanta. Nagsimula siguro ito n’ong matutunan ko ang iilang salita na kayang sambitin ng mga bata, “Mama”, “Papa” “Meeeh(Milk)”, atbp. Lumipas ang ilang taon, natutunan kong ihele ang sarili ko gamit ang mga kantang bayan na naririnig ko sa mga nakatatanda.

Pagtungtong ko ng paaralan, mas lumawak ang nalalaman ko sa Musika. Marami akong naging kaibigan dahil sa larangang ito. Isa na ang children’s choir, ang pinakaunang pangkat na nasalihan ko noon sa Elementarya. Aaminin ko, mahilig na akong kumanta noon pero pag-apak ko sa bahay ng aming trainor, napayuko ako sa kahihiyan dahil hindi pa ako ganoon kahusay. “Huwag dapat sintunado,” ‘ika nga nila. Nasa ikaapat na baitang ako noon taong 2003, at tuwing Sabado ay may pagsasanay kami sa bahay ng yumaong si Gng. Esther Castro. 

“If there’s one more gift I’d ask of you, Lord, it would be peace here on earth. As gentle as your children’s laughter all around, all around.” Isa lamang ‘yang Mass song na One More Gift na una kong natutunan kay Gng. Castro. Marami-rami pang mga awit kaming natutunan sa kanya, lalo na ang mga kantang pamasko. Nagkataon kasing Disyembre noon at sa tulong na rin ni Sister Ruiz, ang aming director, nasubukan naming pumasyal sa buong bayan habang nangangaroling. Hindi lamang ordinaryong carolling ito sapagkat tuwing Sabado ang pagsasanay namin at mayroon pa kaming uniporme na ipinagawa pa. Kulay pula na bestidang lampas tuhod ang para sa mga babae, at pulang suit naman sa mga lalaki. Lahat kami ay mayroon ding Santa’s hat. Napakaganda ng aming mga kasuotan at hanggang ngayon, taong 2013, nasa akin pa ‘yong damit kong ‘yon. Memorable, eh! Pagkatapos ng klase sa hapon, may sumusundo sa aming dyip. Mula sa eskwelahan, habang dala-dala ang mga kasuotang gagamitin natin, dumidiretso kami sa bahay ni Gng. Casto upang doon na magpalit at mag-ayos. Kay sarap magbalik-tanaw! Naaalala ko pa ang mg tawanan at asaran namin. Doon din ako nakakilala ng mga kaibigan kong mas nakatatanda na tinawag kong “Ate” o “Kuya.” Pagkatapos mag-ayos, handa na kami. Dala ang dalawang organ, lulan ng dalawang dyip at sasakyan nila Sister Ruiz at ni Gng. Castro, papunta na kami sa tinawag naming First House.

Hindi ko maipaliwanag kung gaano kami namangha sa unang bahay na dinaluhan namin. Napakalaki at napakaluwang ng bahay na iyon. Maraming pasikot-sikot at napakasarap ng mga inihain nilang pagkain sa amin. Pero syempre, bago kami kumain, awit muna ng mga kantang pamaskong handog namin sa may bahay. Pagkatapos noon, iniabot na ang sobre kay Sister Ruiz.

“Sa may bahay, ang aming bati “Merry Christmas ng maluwalhati!” Ang pag-ibig ‘pag siyang naghari, araw-araw ay magiging pasko lagi. Ang sanhi po ng pagparito ay BABATI NG MALIGAYANG PASKO!” Naiiba rin ang liriko ng aming mga kanta, hindi ordinaryo. May mga parte ng kantang pinapalitan sa bawat ensayo namin.

Lumipas ang ilang kabahayan at matapos ang ilang araw, narating din namin ang St. Lucy’s Eye Center sa may Dagupan. Iyon na siguro ang pinakaengrandeng carolling na naranasan ng children’s choir. Naroon lahat ng mga doktor, pasyente at empleyado na tutok na tutok sa amin habang masiyang tumutugtog ang dalawa naming pianista habang kaming mga choir members ay ramdam na ramdam ang kantang pamaskong namumutawi sa aming mga labi. Si Gng. Castro ay taas-noo habang ikinukumpas ang kanilang kanang kamay sa bawat pagbaba at pagtaas ng timbre ng musika.

(“Magpapatuloy….”)

Diary 101

Conversation deleted. 

It would be a violation of our privacy to blog this, but I cannot think anything better than release it here and pray to GOD. The clock is ticking; I switched off my air-cooling system. Just to get a grip on my laptop and write everything, I am standing this suffocation inside my room.

12:09AM – I opened my Facebook account and finally decided to change a portion of it, back from what it has been before. Tomorrow, I think, it would break the whole world. (No, I am not a Hollywood star or something that they stalk me and my profile 24/7) What I meant was, many would blabber about that.

12:15AM – I finished typing the paragraph above this one, and, yet, I haven’t gone to what I am supposed to say. Okay, here we go….

Never did someone called me into names that hurt me. Never did someone caused so much pain inflicting words to me. Yes, I admit to being tactless at times. As a human, let me recount my verdict…whenever I hear names or events that I don’t like, I tend to be talkative until the person whom I talk to become annoyed, or worst, become mad at me like there’s a halo of fire above his head. That is why, in return, I was caught off guard with a bullet hitting me bull’s eye. Wow! That is just magnificent.

I dubbed myself as the “SARCASM QUEEN” and someone hated me for that. Who’d have loved somebody who speaks of irony that  you’d not believe his sincerity in the end? Nobody.

Pardon me.

Who’d have dealt with someone who is argumentative? Never would anyone waste time on a person who likes talking about ‘nonsense things.’

Who’d have dealt with someone who is moody? Never would anyone lose his crafts and play nuts with someone. Who is he, by the way? I am not him.

Who’d have dealt with someone who is childlike? Being childlike is different from being childish. These two things have different meanings –  the latter is thinking and acting like a child, while the first one is just mimicking what a child does. Never would anyone push his luck on acting like a babysitter to someone who acts like a child.

Who’d have dealt with someone who thinks that walking away is the best answer to heal all the wounds? If love is true, then, it must be endless; it can stand the test of time.

12:28AM – I am still typing, while the LED lighting of my smartphone is blinking amber. Wait, do I need to recharge it? Not, yet. Keep on typing, Sam. My dear readers, please let me. This is the only way where I can find myself. I need to find myself, I am lost. If only I can talk to anyone who can make me feel better, I will. But I exceeded my unlimited call’s normal terms of usage, and this is my last option.

Whenever I hear such things, I tend to be silent until the words sink in to me. Holding a grudge isn’t right, that is what my father always tell me. If you want to live a peaceful life, set things free. All right, so as of now, I already cleared my mind in preparation of the moving on process. You are an avid reader of my blogs if you remember this line from me, “If someone throws you a stone, throw back a bread, instead.” It really is painful and inappropriate to hear one-shot bullet of words from the lips of an angel. And knowing that the reason behind your being tactless are the same reasons of your old arguments.

They say, past is senseless. But for me, past is the connection between the present and the past present. If you say that past is not important, then, there could be no time at all or time is not passing by; the earth is not rotating on its axis and it is not revolving around the sun.

No one would say “I miss you” to someone they just bump into a street in their first meeting. No one would reminisce the old, good times. Am I making sense here? If there is no past connection between two persons, there is no ‘missing you’ at all. So, past matters. Long live, Marshall Matthers.

12:43AM – I turned on my air-conditioning system, in exchange of my electric fan.

As far as I can remember, this is the first time that I got busted on blogging per pressure, or, if not, maybe the third or fourth?

12:47AM – I am supposed to be blogging, directly. Go direct to the point, Sam!

Well, thank you. Thank you for interfering with me. I know I am not perfect. There are things that I can’t help but argue with you. You already know the reasons why. Then, again, if it’s for the best, let’s go for a change, or let me find myself and admit my faults. At this point in time, I already did and I prayed for us. You even seemed to misinterpret that, again. I am so sorry. Man, I cannot blame you, eh? If it is not because of my being childlike, moody, jealous, argumentative, we would’t fall of that issue between a world-class concert and a concert for all. Yes, we differ. MUSIC has a deeper meaning to me, or not to you? It comes from the heart and not for mere entertainment. Howdy? How ridiculous it is to lose our nerves for an excellent and renowned artist worldwide to a babe who is just getting there to the arena and make music for LOL? I hate it when I argue with you. Because when I do, I get a personal attack, in return. Whenever I critic the people you idolize, I just got a bad back. Sorry, please forgive me. I didn’t mean them. You know the reasons why.

That’s why I am loosening the belt. You have your time, go find your happiness, and fight for it! Even if it would cause you a dime, why not? Even if I would be the dime, why not? Spades, tsk tsk…

Remember that the only reason why we’ve been going through this over and over is because of our ineffective delinquent solutions. I messed up, you messed up so we cut the rope. Sobresaliente!

1:01AM – May you have a peaceful sleep, dear friend. Thanks for your consideration. I need a rest, too.

(Dear readers, I’ll get back to you soon, I promise. Thank you for dropping by. Salamat sa pagdamay!)

by: Samantha C. De Guzman

(NO PLAGIARISM)

The Grandest Piano

The Grandest Piano

“Things taught me how to deal with life, wisely. But MUSIC sank into my deepest soul.” I first learned humming from my Mama and Papa. To my lola Carling, who delved with me through the thrones of harder times, thank you. If it’s not because of you, I won’t be playing the piano now. And without it, I can’t imagine a sweet soul with a dead rhythm.

by: Samantha C. De Guzman

(NO PLAGIARISM)

12.18.2012

ImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImage

Here’s the wedding ceremony with the most unique vows I heard:

“Never bring the memories of the past.”

“Never criticize each other, unless you do it, lovingly.”

“Never go to bed with an argument.”

“Do not shout at each other, unless there’s a fire!” (This one made us all laugh)

With Rev. Dominador Lopez as the official pastor, the nuptial ceremony preceded at UCCP church, Baguio City. WEN and MAE, the couples overflowed with great joy for this most memorable event of their lives. Together with their family and friends, they relinquished the moment like’s there’s no tomorrow.

Just in time, my cousin Fedilyn and I arrived in Baguio at exactly 3:30PM and the wedding ceremony began already. We took the back seats while our relatives were on the opposite side.

My four other cousins, Kuya Kevin Basa was in charged of the veil, while Prince Eleazar  De Guzman was the ring bearer, Vincent Karl Matabang, on the other hand, was the coin bearer, and Axel Ace Dablo, one of the “flower boys.”

WEN and MAE, the newlyweds danced and sang before the reception at Good Taste restaurant. I was amazed to hear Just the Way You Are and A Thousand Years played in the VTR. We were all starving already so the desserts were firstly served before the main courses. There was a photo booth, also, where you can have multiple photos and have the hard copies, afterwards.

Thanks to Ate Mae and Kuya Wen! As what everyone else say, “Congratulations & Best Wishes!” I pray for your family’s prosperity and guidance. May you have a dozen of babies to come!

by: Samantha C. De Guzman

(NO PLAGIARISM)

Terrified

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gPhOET2v8YM

“And I’m in love…and I’m terrified…”

I got LSS with this song when I was browsing KC’s files in her flash drive. Kareen Claire Jardinez is my dear friend in college, taking up Bachelor of Arts in Communication, who happened to be the official photographer on my debut night. Her boyfriend, Jeremias Aquino, is also a Communication Arts student. It may be too much to ponder but I see compatibility in them, no matter how short the span apprehension I had with them.

Click…click…click. I was at the edge of my emotions when I the icon of this video so I invoke their right to privacy. Anyway, I texted KC right away to ask permission. Because it made a hit in my ego, I adjured her to post this here on my blog site.

After a few minutes of conversation with her, I took the brainchild to post this online today, September 9, 2012, for their 2nd year anniversary.

As promised, I did branch off their shown love to each other starting with Youtube, then I shared it on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, and here’s the Finale on Wordpress.

They are the cutest couple I’ve seen and swear, kinilig ako sa kanilang dalawa! (That’s why I posted it here – it’s SAMthing extraordinary. And I only choose those beyond perfection!)

To Kareen Claire Jardinez and Jeremias Aquino, happy 2nd year anniversary to the both of you! Embrace the beauty of LOVE. Keep the strong bond going. Spell love and commitment, unconditionally. My prayers and thoughts are with you!

P.S. I fell in love with this song because of that couple. (Thought they were the real ones who sang it.)

Video Credits: Kareen Claire Jardinez

by: Samantha C. De Guzman

(NO PLAGIARISM)

“And I’m in love…and I’m terrified…”

I got LSS with this song when I was browsing KC’s files in her flash drive. Kareen Claire Jardinez is my dear friend in college, taking up Bachelor of Arts in Communication, who happened to be the official photographer on my debut night. Her boyfriend, Jeremias Aquino, is also a Communication Arts student. It may be too much to ponder but I see compatibility in them, no matter how short the span of apprehension I had with them.

Click…click…click. I was at the edge of my emotions when I the icon of this video so I invoke their right to privacy. Anyway, I texted KC right away to ask permission. Because it made a hit in my ego, I adjured her to post this here on my blog site.

After a few minutes of conversation with her, I took the brainchild to post this online today, September 9, 2012, for their 2nd year anniversary.

As promised, I did branch off their shown love to each other starting with Youtube, then I shared it on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, and here’s the Finale on WordPress.

They are the cutest couple I’ve seen and swear, kinilig ako sa kanilang dalawa! (That’s why I posted it here – it’s SAMthing extraordinary. And I only choose those beyond perfection!)

To Kareen Claire Jardinez and Jeremias Aquino, happy 2nd year anniversary to the both of you! Embrace the beauty of LOVE. Keep the strong bond going. Spell love and commitment, unconditionally. My prayers and thoughts are with you!

P.S. I fell in love with this song because of that couple. (Thought they were the real ones who sang it.)

Video Credits: Kareen Claire Jardinez

by: Samantha C. De Guzman

(NO PLAGIARISM)