‘Sweetest Thing’

The sweetest thing I heard today was when Pops said, “I am happy that you’re happy.”, randomly, at suppertime.

He looked me straight in the eye and smiled.

“Thank you, Papa.” Then, I was dazed to discover how my father could fathom the real feeling I have inside.

💌,

SAM

Why Not?

You dream of becoming an astronaut? 👩🏻‍🚀Go, because WHY NOT? You want to be a lawyer? 👨‍⚖️Go, because WHY NOT? You want to be a public servant? 👮🏻Go, because WHY NOT?
Let us not be defined by how people see us. After all, their vision and opinion would not matter when we go around flying with zero gravity, defend a thousand people with ease, and serve our hometown 24/7. Nothing we do is ever useless for the Lord! (1 Corinthians 15:58).


Ilford HP5 / Why Not

💌,
SAM

ABNEGATION: The Selfless

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Faction Manifesto

I will be my undoing
If I become my obsession.

I will forget the ones I love
If I do not serve them.

I will war with others
If I refuse to see them.

Therefore I choose to turn away
From my reflection,
To rely not on myself
But on my brothers and sisters,
To project always outward
Until I disappear.*

(*Some members add a final line: “And only God remains.” That is at the discretion of each member, and is not compulsory.)
Credits to Veronica Roth’s writing. I am a forever Divergent series fan!
Photo by: Mockingbird Photography

Why First Love Never Dies

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(Photos from The Notebook movie, 2004)

“The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. And that’s what you’ve given me. That’s what I’d hoped to give you forever…”

 – Noah Calhoun, The Notebook

Nicholas Sparks

Not only does first love, but also true love never dies! I couldn’t believe how miracles happen because of two persons having the best feeling in the world. No matter how hard or worst situations become, or how far the two people is away from one another, love remains constant and also grows.

There are a lot of times I cried with all my heart as I put myself in the shoes of Mrs. Allie Calhoun, the former Miss Allie Hamilton. Whenever I watch films, I always see to it that I am the protagonist. I am the protagonist in whatever situation that may seem so I really felt that spectacular feeling to be with the one I love, whom I can share my life with. And how life-changing it is to be away from him for years but the love still goes on…

How I love romance stories, esp. those of Nicholas Sparks! Tragic, yet, unconditional. I wouldn’t think twice if those kinds of love still exist nowadays because I admit to being a witness to them – my mom and dad’s unconditional love. Moreover, I knew it. Now that I am eighteen years of age, I already found my own…my only first and true love. First love and true love have been widely discussed in all forms by people in different walks of life. What is really true or when does one really ends? But for me, both go along with one another. That, you can’t call it “love” if it was never true. Just think about the logic. You must not call it “love” if it didn’t exist or you must know it only when you found it at the second time in a different person. Whatever your views are, I believe that first love is true…or LOVE is true.

Today marks the eleventh month of our love. We may have gone through our separate ways for peculiar reasons, as I’ve said, these cannot impede the love that we have. Like Noah and Allie, our youth was one of the best time of our lives. This was when we first laid eyes on one another; when we first felt the ecstatic moments of being in love and when we first learned how to wipe each others’ tears every time the world could seem crashing, too.

He was my first love – the only man who could make me laugh when I am bursting out of anger. He was my bodyguard – who protects me in from all intents and purposes. He was my best buddy – all the days of our lives can’t pass without us, eating together or talking silly little things. He was my diary – when days or nights become richer or fuller, I wrote to him through his heart. We may be far away from each other every night, our senses are present while the moon up above is gleaming to us. Finally, he was, he is and he will be my forever ONE, TRUE LOVE. 11 months and still counting, GOD is our witness. Decades will past but our love for each other will last.

It’s a miracle, then, how this (The Notebook) movie had made me realize how blessed I am to have him in my life. Now, I think, I got the greatest gift! He is my treasure, my life’s only wish. I would forever love and cherish him. We would continue venturing to our MORE than forever journey.

You want to join us? Watch the movie, first, and be amazed how pure, kind and patient love is! Thanks. 🙂

(To my one true love, happy 11th! Sorry for the times that you feel I seem too far away. You know I am just so close to you, listening to the beating of your heart. No days or nights had passed that you didn’t cross my mind. We may have fought and will still fight, but always remember that our love is the strongest among all! Stay tough, my love. Love endures. Love waits. Love lasts. And love will keep us alive! Ha-Ha!)

by: Samantha C. De Guzman

(NO PLAGIARISM)

Why They Can’t Steal You

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“Happy are you when people insult you and persecute you and tell all kinds of evil lies against you because you are my followers. Be happy and glad, for a great reward is kept for you in heaven. This is how the prophets who lived before you were persecuted.” (Matthew 5:11)

It really is a godly evening! To be one of Christ’s disciples, one must deny himself and take up his own cross. Yes, you read that right. Denying oneself is by turning your back to life impurities and by not repeating them. A true disciple follows Christ and everything is all right. But we were told that by living this world where insecurity sometimes reign, God is there to help us up like a little voice calling from the bottom of our hearts – this is what we call conscience. We may as well follow the rule of parallelism, and that, we may be consistent with our words and deeds. In a broader sense, being a disciple of Christ is not all of life’s pleasures. Remember that Christ himself face all of the evil’s temptations to lure him down, yet, GOD is always on the rescue to save His own son. In the same manner, as people of GOD, we are loved the same way He loves His own son. Never will He forsake us and let us fall into the trap of the evil because we are His children. Only a fool would ignore his child and let him fall down to a cliff.

Moreover, GOD the Almighty will not follow us. We must be the one to follow Him…and everything will be all right. How overflowing is the joy I am feeling right now! Nothing or no one can equalize with the joy that comes from the salvation of GOD! No matter what revelations or false talks I hear, that I have tons of haters out there, in which I had no idea for too long, I still am glad and I still praise the LORD! He didn’t leave me and He persecute even those who try to bury me down. With His stone axes, He destroys them while here I am peacefully sleeping and enjoying all the foods on the table that my good family prepared for us.

The Bible also says that when you love only your friends, there’s nothing special about that. Even the taxpayers do that! Why not love those who persecute you and pray for them, instead? The world would be more peaceful if we spread the love, not the animosity. (Matthew 5:43-48)

Even if you shoved to my face how many haters I have, GOD will always be bigger and will be the biggest among anything or anyone. What would a mere being do to me? Still, none of the least things I hear or not anyone can defeat GOD who shows mercy and gives justice to those who deserve them. I have GOD, my family, my few true friends, and my only love who give me the love that anyone would feel more than blessed of. 🙂

“You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.’ But now I tell you: do not take revenge on someone who wrongs you. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, let him slap your left cheek, too. And if someone takes you to court to sue you for your shirt, let him have your coat, as well.” (Matthew 5:38-40)

“Go on and try to bring me down, I will be rising from the ground…” No one can steal my faith in the Lord. No one can bribe me of my loyalty to my loved ones. No one can spare my dreams and principles. I live straight and do what I think is right. I accept my human fallibility and that will not stop me from following Him and will not destroy the precious gifts I am now enjoying. (Oh, what? Redundancy’s great!)

My dear readers, this is more than a warning. Know who you are dealing with and do not offend the wrong person. It is always better to be humble in everything that you do and just let people judge you for that. Anyway, words might stab but dignity and faith will not be perished. If words can paralyze, deeds can kill. But let GOD do the justice. Now that the Anti-Bullying Bill in the Philippines has already been passed as a law, you know that will happen next. Continue conquering the world with kindness. GOD will save us from life’s trap and even warns us before a trap was planned even by the best planner. Remember that no matter how excellent and clean a trap may seem, we are already shield by GOD. Just always be on the lookout and combat them with the teachings of Christ. Grow up. Save your time for more worthy tasks. Wise people demonstrate more and explicate less. A good person is not good when he has bad intentions. Jealousy could be the ugliest trait, don’t live with it.

Thanks for dropping by, children of GOD!

by: Samantha C. De Guzman

(NO PLAGIARISM)

FOOLISH TALK

(Quoted from the book of Sirach, chapter 27, verses 11-15. A daily dose of Good News for the renewal of our faith and for the correction of our human mistakes.)

“When devout people talk, what they say always makes sense, but foolish people are always contradicting themselves. When you find yourself with stupid people, look for some excuse to leave, but when you are with serious-minded people, stay as long as you can.

The stories that foolish people tell are offensive, and they make jokes about the worst kinds of sin. When such people curse, it is enough to make your hair stand on end, and when they start arguing among themselves, all you can do is to stop up your ears. It is painful to listen to them insult each other, and such blistering can lead to violence.”

Bakas ng Kahapon (Part 1)

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(To my readers, you can translate this page, but I am so sorry that all texts can’t go the way I addressed them. I will write for you the next time in English so we all can be happy!)

Matagal ko na ring nais sumulat gamit ang wikang Filipino…matagal-tagal din akong nag-attempt na sumulat na lamang gamit ito upang mas maraming kababayan ko ang makaintindi ng lubusan. Noong nagdaang gabi lamang, tinanong ko ang aking sarili kung bakit nga hindi ko subukan nang maipahayag ko ang aking mga saloobin gamit ang aming sariling wika.

Lubos kong ikinagagalak yaong mga taong marurunong kumanta at nabibigyan ng pagkakataong makapag-record ng kanilang sariling mga kanta, orihinal mang komposisyon o cover lang. Para bang mga kerubim na umaawit sa langit ang kanilang mga tinig at kay sarap pakinggan? Ako, rin. Minsan din akong nangarap na maging isang tanyag na mang-aawit. Madalas akong kumakanta kahit saan o kahit pa man sa isipan ko lamang. May mga pagkakataon din na matagal bago ako dalawin ng antok dahil ba sa dami ng bumabagabag sa isipan ko at umaawit na rin ng kantang napakinggan ko ng sandali lamang. Marahil, LSS ang tawag sa ganoong sitwasyon or Last Song Syndrome. 

Isa akong taong kinalakhan ang musika. Musika ang nagbigay-buhay sa makulay kong buhay. Bata pa lamang ako ay nasa puso ko na talaga ang pagkanta. Nagsimula siguro ito n’ong matutunan ko ang iilang salita na kayang sambitin ng mga bata, “Mama”, “Papa” “Meeeh(Milk)”, atbp. Lumipas ang ilang taon, natutunan kong ihele ang sarili ko gamit ang mga kantang bayan na naririnig ko sa mga nakatatanda.

Pagtungtong ko ng paaralan, mas lumawak ang nalalaman ko sa Musika. Marami akong naging kaibigan dahil sa larangang ito. Isa na ang children’s choir, ang pinakaunang pangkat na nasalihan ko noon sa Elementarya. Aaminin ko, mahilig na akong kumanta noon pero pag-apak ko sa bahay ng aming trainor, napayuko ako sa kahihiyan dahil hindi pa ako ganoon kahusay. “Huwag dapat sintunado,” ‘ika nga nila. Nasa ikaapat na baitang ako noon taong 2003, at tuwing Sabado ay may pagsasanay kami sa bahay ng yumaong si Gng. Esther Castro. 

“If there’s one more gift I’d ask of you, Lord, it would be peace here on earth. As gentle as your children’s laughter all around, all around.” Isa lamang ‘yang Mass song na One More Gift na una kong natutunan kay Gng. Castro. Marami-rami pang mga awit kaming natutunan sa kanya, lalo na ang mga kantang pamasko. Nagkataon kasing Disyembre noon at sa tulong na rin ni Sister Ruiz, ang aming director, nasubukan naming pumasyal sa buong bayan habang nangangaroling. Hindi lamang ordinaryong carolling ito sapagkat tuwing Sabado ang pagsasanay namin at mayroon pa kaming uniporme na ipinagawa pa. Kulay pula na bestidang lampas tuhod ang para sa mga babae, at pulang suit naman sa mga lalaki. Lahat kami ay mayroon ding Santa’s hat. Napakaganda ng aming mga kasuotan at hanggang ngayon, taong 2013, nasa akin pa ‘yong damit kong ‘yon. Memorable, eh! Pagkatapos ng klase sa hapon, may sumusundo sa aming dyip. Mula sa eskwelahan, habang dala-dala ang mga kasuotang gagamitin natin, dumidiretso kami sa bahay ni Gng. Casto upang doon na magpalit at mag-ayos. Kay sarap magbalik-tanaw! Naaalala ko pa ang mg tawanan at asaran namin. Doon din ako nakakilala ng mga kaibigan kong mas nakatatanda na tinawag kong “Ate” o “Kuya.” Pagkatapos mag-ayos, handa na kami. Dala ang dalawang organ, lulan ng dalawang dyip at sasakyan nila Sister Ruiz at ni Gng. Castro, papunta na kami sa tinawag naming First House.

Hindi ko maipaliwanag kung gaano kami namangha sa unang bahay na dinaluhan namin. Napakalaki at napakaluwang ng bahay na iyon. Maraming pasikot-sikot at napakasarap ng mga inihain nilang pagkain sa amin. Pero syempre, bago kami kumain, awit muna ng mga kantang pamaskong handog namin sa may bahay. Pagkatapos noon, iniabot na ang sobre kay Sister Ruiz.

“Sa may bahay, ang aming bati “Merry Christmas ng maluwalhati!” Ang pag-ibig ‘pag siyang naghari, araw-araw ay magiging pasko lagi. Ang sanhi po ng pagparito ay BABATI NG MALIGAYANG PASKO!” Naiiba rin ang liriko ng aming mga kanta, hindi ordinaryo. May mga parte ng kantang pinapalitan sa bawat ensayo namin.

Lumipas ang ilang kabahayan at matapos ang ilang araw, narating din namin ang St. Lucy’s Eye Center sa may Dagupan. Iyon na siguro ang pinakaengrandeng carolling na naranasan ng children’s choir. Naroon lahat ng mga doktor, pasyente at empleyado na tutok na tutok sa amin habang masiyang tumutugtog ang dalawa naming pianista habang kaming mga choir members ay ramdam na ramdam ang kantang pamaskong namumutawi sa aming mga labi. Si Gng. Castro ay taas-noo habang ikinukumpas ang kanilang kanang kamay sa bawat pagbaba at pagtaas ng timbre ng musika.

(“Magpapatuloy….”)

More than…ETERNITY.

Starting today, everything will be different. The fact that I am writing this instead of finishing my exams makes it a lot more different than the previous months. You know that I blog per pressure, but this time, I feel so numb that I can write without tears pouring down from my very eyes.

For over a year, I’ve had countless arguments – mostly small and few of them were pretty small that you’ll soon realize that they are not worth talking about. I admit to being an argumentative person, especially when I already knew the truth, and yet, things like that are kept hidden to me. Yes, I am argumentative but I do not like arguments as much as I love discussing issues over and over.

Up to now, one thing is banging my head and I am not certain on how to address this, that is why I keep on typing words here. If I go straight to the point, what is the point of blogging? But tonight, my mind was cleared. Letting go is not the answer; walking away is my response.

We have been together for so long and I wouldn’t write here how long that was. Consequently, all conflicts were solved, efficiently. It has been a part of ours to have these so-called “quarrels” for they made us even a stronger couple. But one day came that I had remained silent…so silent than the dusky, summer night.

Maybe this is the best option for the both of us; maybe this is the right time to walk away; maybe letting go is the answer to this dilemma; maybe this has been haunting us from the beginning and we need to finish it; maybe forgetting can be the start of another beginning.

The unspoken thoughts and fuzzy feelings are unfolding. The rain is pouring over the roof of uncertainties. Oh, rain, can you take me away? Make my soul pour over like a raindrop to his head, and from his head down to the sole of his feet. I want to feel him, again, even for the last time. And soon as I leave his glorious body and found the cold, wet ground, make me flow until I no longer can for I already precipitated. One day that I, again, reached the clouds, do not let me fall. Please give me that enormous feeling that I will get to see his face from up above. The connection between the sky and his sight will be no less than amazing and I couldn’t be more thankful than that.

The thought of parting ways has a different vision to me like that of a raindrop. He might have tried to let go of me, as the raindrop flowed quickly down his feet, I will still go back to him in another form. Up in the sky, I am watching him. And I will be glad one day that I will be with him, again, without him noticing that it was me, the old raindrop – the same girl he used to love before.

Many droplets will come to him for years, I know. As long rain exists, so do I. And even if the sun has set, I will always wish for a rain. Now that it is raining, wherever he is, I hope he is out there, waiting for a single drop of rain to pour down from his head. You have no idea how much I miss this man, that I am going to take risks just to be with him, again, and forever. If my life was life was all I had, how could not I offer it for him?

If he is reading this now, hand him a white cloth. I do not want him crying over this letter or so. Please wipe his tears, if he ever cried. For a moment, comfort him. Tell him I’ll be there at any minute he wishes me to. For I am just up above, watching him and waiting for another rain to come so I can be with him again for more than…ETERNITY.

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by: Samantha C. De Guzman

(NO PLAGIARISM)

Whereabouts

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What was the one experience that completely changed your life? What happened? How did it change your life?

When do you start forgetting? Burying yourself in the past is what confuses you because you aren’t certain if it’s no use or not, or it’s just that acceptance takes a long time before you learn and move on.

Falling in love is an enigma. You never know when and to whom you will fall in love with. Just imagine a lightning when it strikes…there is no specific place that you know where will it land. Yet, you know there’s a lightning coming because of the thunderstorm. Like love, I don’t believe it’s the lovers who are blind. Neither nor, love is blind. In the first place, how are you going to say that love is a learning process if the senses are not present? Does learning only involve a mere affection without the perspiration?

Now I say, LOVERS are not blind and LOVE is not blind. You fall in love with a person because you truly love him, nothing more and nothing less. Well, if there’s something more, the affection increases because of the qualities he possess that you like the most. Whether they are accepted by the society or not, which give you the perception that you are blind for falling in love with it, it’s still your choice. And we all have our own choices in life!

Love is NOT VAGUE for it opens you to a new, bright world where you’ve never been to. It’s a paradise where happiness and sorrow both exist. We all hear of love’s sugary joys or bittersweet memories. The only difference between these romances is the way how two people deal with the conflicts that make them stronger and closer. Am I making sense here?

To make things clear, the parameters I set are for two people who love each other. They say love is a two-way street or it involves Mutualism. It may or may not be appropriate to use mutualism because of the idea of benefiting each other, it’s still apt for me to say that love is an interaction between two people, not three or four…and so on and so forth.

Above I mentioned about forgetting, and yes, it still confuses me how the past interferes with the present. What’s more painful than seeing the least people who has been a part of your significant other’s life? I mean, when you remember the conversations they had and the songs they used to sing, weren’t those an excruciating pain in the stomach?

What changes you is how you see things or people now. It’s a whole new world, really, because you tend to block these images in your life and if chances come that they appear to you, again, memories flash back like another storm casting its demolition to a crying hut. Does it happen to you, too? No matter how you try forgetting, there’s always this unbearable urge pulling you back to it and silently killing you?

I am not blaming myself for over-thinking things. If I stop fixing this, I would go back to the same issue over and over and I don’t want to regret in the end for not making an action. And the only way I know which will lessen the burden is by bringing it up again and again until all things are made clear to me and questions raised will be answered honestly and wisely.

Emotional security does a big part in this two-way street. You woke up in the morning and you thank God for the Good News – you are alive! The next thing you do is look at your cellphone and there’s a message which reads: “Good morning, beautiful! Wake up to a wonderful morning and have the nicest day! I love you.” It’s not just about the words, actually; it’s about the thought of sending the message and making the receiver smile early in the morning.

Let me ask you now. If love is an enigma, how do you deal with it? Like life, it is. But life has a beginning and an end, so is not love. For love is eternal. If forgetting is accepting, how do you it? Because accepting is devastating, like a storm, it destroys you and make you homeless. Are you ready to give up everything and be a beggar for the sake of forgetting?

Here is my plea. Please hear me.

by: Samantha C. De Guzman

(NO PLAGIARISM)

Be Afraid…Don’t.

“I tried to save all these tears the whole day but I think it’s time that I pour out the rain from a heavy cloud. This phenomena woke me up to my tiniest nerve, and suddenly, I didn’t care about everyone else. All I care about is YOU. We have surpassed too many trials and this one will never tear us down – we are like a single strand. Take my hand, darling. I will carry all your burdens with HIM.”

by: Samantha C. De Guzman

(NO PLAGIARISM)