The sweetest thing I heard today was when Pops said, “I am happy that you’re happy.”, randomly, at suppertime.
He looked me straight in the eye and smiled.
“Thank you, Papa.” Then, I was dazed to discover how my father could fathom the real feeling I have inside.
“Clean-eating”, they say.
I call it “easily-cooked meals”.
It’s so easy to spend everything at once.
She thought she needed something. Her mind clamored the idea of meeting a demand to look better at time.
Instantly, a watch fell on her lap.
Maybe it’s so hard to ignore a need all at once.
I was holding a pair of crinkled hands – they were white. These exquisite bougainvilleas were pale in comparison to the beauty that these hands witnessed for almost a decade.
“Why are you holding me all the time?”, she asked.
“‘Cause I don’t want to let you fall, Gran.” I answered.
“How long am I gonna be stuck here, excuse me?”
Sweet? No, bittersweet. I had never seen this coming. Never.
So this is grief. You can’t, really, tell: all you have are bizarre pictures lurking past you…sometimes back and forth.
They would say, “It’s okay.” But, honestly, it’s not okay. It’s not okay not to be okay.
You were thinking of alternatives. Sadly, you had no Plan B.
Grieve. Just grieve.